Thursday, April 18, 2013

We can't be friends if....

I am that person who has a lot of acquaintances, but very few friends. Maybe that's because my "We can't be friends if..." list is not as forgiving as it would need to be in order for my friend count to be nearer the double digits. I don't know, you decide.

We can't be friends if...You don't like to dance, sing or laugh. Because I do all three. A lot. In my house, we have jam sessions where we scream out song lyrics and turn the volume up so loud our 80 year old neighbor wanders over to "see what the bleep is happening" because "It's just SO loud over here". As much as I love singing and dancing, I  love laughing even more.It's painful for me to be stuck in a situation that calls for quiet and/or somber. I almost always try to lighten the mood in those moments. My jokes usually go over like a lead balloon, but I still try. 

We can't be friends if...You wear cartoon animals/Disney characters. No. It's just not right. I don't care if you were robbed of all worldly possessions minus your Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt circa 1992-and really, you should be asking yourself why it is they took EVERYTHING but that- you better not be wearing it when  I come over to help you file that police report.

We can't be friends if...You only use FB to stalk people. It's weird when I tell someone who has so little activity on Facebook that I forget I am friends with them about how great Bryan is doing in school or about the job promotion I received recently and they respond with " Oh, I know. I read it on Facebook." Really? Just say "Congratulations" and save yourself some creepy points, buddy.

We can't be friends if...You don't believe we all have a little Jenna Maroney in us. I love her. And yes, I am completely aware she is just a character on a t.v. show. 

There are a lot more than four. Some of them are deep. Some shallow. Some just plain weird. For instance, if you use the word "moist" often or like to chew on ice cubes  it's just not in the cards for us to be friends; but that's it for today. Now go turn up the radio and sing your little heart out! 

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