So, I fell off the blogger wagon and had a hard time getting up. I haven't blogged in awhile for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I didn't feel like I was being me. When I first decided to blog I thought "There is some funny shit going on in this head and the people in blogland NEED to hear it", and so I sat down and started typing, but then I ran into a problem.
This may sounds silly, but my problem was that I was afraid if the real Crystal started blogging, people wouldn't want to read along and I do want people to read my blog. I'd be a lying liar if I said I otherwise.
It's unfortunate, but I'd get really excited about writing a piece and then after I started typing it I'd think about all the people that might be offended or put off by the way I chose to express myself on this blog, and I'd stop. See, the real Crystal will always give it to you straight whether you want to hear it or not, she'll curse -and not just occasionally-she curses so much her kids have asked her to stop, she has a habit of saying inappropriate things at the most inopportune times, she laughs at people's misfortunes (including her own) and she's evil. Well, not really the last one but the other stuff-definitely. And there you have it-I'm not perfect, so my blog could never be perfect. And if it's not perfect, people might judge me. I thought about all the people that might be judging me, and the blogger Crystal edited out content and re-wrote posts so much the blog ended up not really being the real Crystal anymore. It t became less and less fun so eventually I stopped writing.
Then one day, after reading this blog I thought "Hey! It's my blog and It's me. If the people don't like it, they don't have to read it. And the people that do like it, well they can keep on reading, because I have a lot of stuff to say."
So, let the Judgy McJudgersons judge. We should all be making the most out of this little bit of time God has so graciously given us on Earth and if you want to spend yours judging me for the words I put in this blog, you do that. But going forward, I refuse to spend my time caring about what anyone thinks besides my maker. He made me so He knows my weaknesses, my imperfections, and the fact that sometimes adding "shit" to a sentence is just they way Crystal rolls.
What will this blog be? I have still don't have that clearly defined, but you bet your ass it's going to be 100% me. I'll throw in some good music, some funny shit about what it's like having three boys, and the stories that made me the person I am today. It might not always be funny. If I am having a bad day, week, month- you'll get some sad borderline-emo posts. I might bitch about work. I might even type up some mushy goodness when I feel super in love with my handsome stud of a husband.
You know what? I do know what this blog will be. It will be my life, in words. My words.