The Coy boys are back!

My two oldest are starting 2nd and 1st grade today. Can you believe that? 

 I have mixed feeling about today. I am glad I wasn't there because I tend to cry at these things. Like, a lot. (It's quite embarrassing for the husband) But, at the same time, I'm sad I wasn't there to see my kids in all their "Whut up OLA! Let's do this learning thang" glory. 

Is it weird that my kids totally act like they own the school? Well. They get if from their father. Stop shaking your head at me. They totally do!

Owen and Oliver

It's a hipster's world and I'm just living in it

So, the first step to becoming a Hipster, is getting my wardrobe straightened out.

Apparently, I am to avoid buying labeled gear from the stores run by the label itself. Well, I don't do that anyway, so consider it done (This is so much easier than I anticipated).

Did you know that in the Hipster world The Classic skinny jean works for both men and women? Lucky for me, I already have four pairs of those bad boys hanging in my closet. A Hipster would pair these with some plaid tops or shirts with funny sayings on them but I have none of those, so this week I settled for stripes.

 I think I totally pulled off the hipster look this day. I was rocking stripes, skinny jeans and converse!

And, because I'm totally into cheese, I decided to take it to the next Hipster level this day and sport some awesome lenses. I don't really feel comfortable sporting eye wear when I have 20/20 vision, but apparently, the ironic eye wear is a must. 

The article suggested I try raiding grandma's closet for some vintage floral or lace, but sadly, that's just not an option for me. Granny is 5'10" to my 5' and a good 70lbs heavier with 30 of those pounds being in the boob area. 

Sadly, I own no neon nail polish, a bird neclase or any bright belts to polish the Hipster look.

Oh, wait. I do own a necklace with an owl  on it that I bought in 2008. Turns out, I was Hipster before Hipsters were Hipsters. 

I realized a few things this week. 1) Dressing like you just rolled out of bed and decided to add layer upon layer of clothing  that doesn't match but somehow coordinates is actually a lot harder than it looks. 2) I look surprisingly awesome in big nerd glasses. 3) I have way too many clothes and none of them very hipster like at all.

Tune in for next week, when I Sort out my grooming. Whatever that is.

For Cory

Tomorrow we'll discuss my adventure in sorting out Hipster fashion, but today...well, today I miss my brother, and I think this song is a lovely song to listen to when you're missing a loved one. 

I kind of realized after I typed that that  it sounded  like my brother was no longer living. He's alive folks- just far away.

I miss you too Jasmine, Kai and Emee!

The Hipster Project 2012

I confess, I had no idea what a Hipster was -so I did what any inquisitive mind would do and googled it.  As it turns out, being a hipster isn't as transparent as I thought. Did you know being a Hipster is more than wearing skinny jeans and reading Kerouac?Well you do now and you're welcome! 

Here's how Urbandictonary.com (A perfectly suitable reference, no?) defines Hipster:

Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20's and 30's that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter. The greatest concentrations of hipsters can be found living in the Williamsburg, Wicker Park, and Mission District neighborhoods of major cosmopolitan centers such as New York, Chicago, and San Francisco respectively. Although "hipsterism" is really a state of mind,it is also often intertwined with distinct fashion sensibilities. Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses. Both hipster men and women sport similar androgynous hair styles that include combinations of messy shag cuts and asymmetric side-swept bangs. Such styles are often associated with the work of creative stylists at urban salons, and are usually too "edgy" for the culturally-sheltered mainstream consumer. The "effortless cool" urban bohemian look of a hipster is exemplified in Urban Outfitters and American Apparel ads which cater towards the hipster demographic. Despite misconceptions based on their aesthetic tastes, hipsters tend to be well educated and often have liberal arts degrees, or degrees in maths and sciences, which also require certain creative analytical thinking abilities

So how does one become a Hipster? Do you take classes? Is there a Hipster test you need to pass? I needed more info, so I started googling (again) and I found the greatest article of all time, titled  How To Be a Hipster: 22 Steps . 22 STEPS? I thought that seemed like a lot. I mean, I'm pretty sure if I wanted to write a guidebook to becoming Crystal Coy there wouldn't even be 22 steps. 15 steps.max. 

Regardless, I started reading these 22 steps, I started thinking,  and I came up with an idea. The Hipster Project 2012. I saw this article as a challenge. Complete the 22 steps. Become a Hipster. How hard could it be? I don't know, but you'll find out. Because, I am taking these 22 steps and documenting my journey to becoming a Hipster on this little blog. 

If you'd like more information on how to become a Hipster, you can find the article here: The Hipster How-to.  I found it on the internet, so it's totally legit.

 So join me next week when  I'll be tackling step #1-Getting my fashion worked out. I. can't. wait.

Tan you dig it?

Before we begin, I would like to refer everyone to my post title and let it be known that should the naming geniuses at OPI, Essie or Sally Hansen need a day off, I could totally fill in. It's a skill mastered by few.

So lets talk about tans.

As a kid, I spent my summers in the pool. All day, every day. In my teenage years, I spent hours not so much in the pool, but laying out by it. And, when I wasn't laying out at home, I was at the beach with a bottle of Hawaiian Tropics. I was a golden goddess. Tan and toned and wrinkle free.

.....That was nice. For a second there I got lost in the memories of 1999-my last summer of goldeny goodness.


Because, in the winter of 2000 I took an office job. And then a couple years later I had kids. I got busy. I got wrinkled. I got pale. And I stayed that way until last weekend.

I should mention that before August 9th, 2012 I had never before heard of a tanning wipe, until I texted Kristi to ask if she was going to spray tan before we headed to the river, and she responded with "Nah, I have some self tanning wipes I'll use". Sensing my confusion, the Cosmetic Gods -in their infinite wisdom- sent me these in my August Birchbox (which I opened, just two hours later!):

Comodynes Self Tanning wipes, for the win!

For those of you not in the know, you simply open the package, take the towelette and give yourself a good wiping down. 2-4 hours later, you are gloriously tan.  I would recommend that even if the towelette feels dry, go over your body a second time, just to make sure your tan goes on evenly. You'll tan a gorgeous, natural-looking color, you won't feel sticky afterwards, and the best part- you won't smell like cheese-its (which tends to happen with spray-tans). So it's that simple. 1)Rip open package 2) Wipe yourself with towelette 3) get a beautiful tan!

I used mine on Friday night, and almost a week later, I still feel like I have a little color left. How is that for awesome??

Have you tried tanning wipes before? Let me know which ones are your fav.

Estonian Music Awards 2012

Did you go? Unfortunately I missed it too so I didn't get to see these fine gentlemen steal the show. I did get to play their award winning song over and over again today at my desk though. WINNER!

A long time coming

So, I fell off the blogger wagon and had a hard time getting up. I haven't blogged in awhile for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I didn't feel like I was being me. When I first decided to blog I thought  "There is some funny shit going on in this head and the people in blogland NEED to hear it", and so I  sat down and started typing, but then I ran into a problem.

This may sounds silly, but my problem was that  I was afraid  if  the real Crystal started blogging, people wouldn't want to read along and I do want people to read my blog. I'd be a lying liar if I said I otherwise.

It's unfortunate, but  I'd get really excited about writing  a piece and then after I started typing it  I'd think about all the people that might be offended or put off by the way I chose to express myself on this blog, and I'd stop. See, the real Crystal will always give it to you straight whether you want to hear it or not, she'll curse -and not just occasionally-she curses so much her kids have asked her to stop, she has a habit of saying  inappropriate things at the most inopportune times, she laughs at people's misfortunes (including her own) and she's evil. Well, not really the last one but the other stuff-definitely. And there you have it-I'm not perfect, so my blog could never be perfect. And if it's not perfect, people might judge me. I thought about all the people that might be judging me, and  the blogger Crystal edited out content  and re-wrote posts so much the blog ended up not really being the real Crystal anymore. It t became less and less fun so eventually I stopped writing.

Then one day, after reading this blog I  thought "Hey! It's my blog and  It's me. If  the people don't like it, they don't have to read it. And the people that do like it, well they can keep on reading, because I have a lot of stuff to say."

So, let the Judgy McJudgersons judge. We should all be making  the most out of this little bit of time God has so graciously given us on Earth and if you want to spend yours judging me for the words I put in this blog, you do that. But going forward, I refuse to spend my time caring about what anyone thinks besides my maker. He made me so  He knows my weaknesses, my imperfections, and the fact that sometimes adding "shit" to a sentence is just they way Crystal rolls.

What will this blog be? I have still don't have that clearly defined, but you bet your ass it's going to be 100% me. I'll throw in some good music, some funny shit about what it's like having three boys, and the stories that made me the person I am today. It might not always be funny. If I am having a bad day, week, month- you'll get some sad borderline-emo posts. I might bitch about work. I might even type up some mushy goodness when I feel super in love with my handsome stud of a husband.

You know what? I do know what  this blog will be. It will be my life, in words. My words.